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New Beginnings?

Hmm I was very sad 3 months ago.

And here I am, sitting in my very own bed, in my own apartment with a Hemi sleeping at my feet.
My life is what I've made of it. I'm learning to balance my own checkbook, paying my bills and putting my own food on my table, and feeding my boys of course!

I'm not scared anymore, and I can very happily say I'm no longer depressed. I have had times in the last few months that before would have most certainly sent me into a spiral, but... the new skills I've learned have kept those negative feelings in check.

I am going to be finished with therapy in January. I have one more appointment in December, and one in January as I wean myself off my antidepressant. I'm trying myself off my high blood pressure medication as well to see how it is off (and to see if I can just stop taking it. Thank goodness for having my own blood pressure cuff and the knowledge to use it! ^_^) My therapist believes that I have met my goals for therapy and that it is no longer needed. She also said that she believes I will make an excellent therapist myself one day. That makes me happy... because come spring I will be going back to school to get my bachelors degree in Psychology.

I have had one dating fiasco already. Suffice it to say, if I were the person I was 4 months ago, the relationship would have been satisfactory. Now that I'm not the same person (nor will I ever go back to the way I was) it was not emotionally fulfilling for me. I have had the great experience of actually dumping a boy. It was highly amusing for me, as well as an excellent learning experience.

So I've begun navigating the muddy waters that is dating. I'm learning to live with a man that isn't my husband. I probably force him to listen to me more than he'd like (lets face it - I am domineering at times). I hope I'm giving him adequate space... I'm a social creature, always have been so I probably force my company on him quite a bit.

I've gained closure from my marriage. My love for my husband is complete.

I'm learning to take things as they come, that it's okay to be sad, and I'm leaning on my support system a lot.

I didn't actually think I'd be happy! It's an amazing feeling this elusive happiness. I am content in what I've made of my life right at this moment in time. I'm secure in the knowledge that my solitude is temporary, and I don't ever feel lonely. (Occasionally bored, but never lonely.) My cats help with the solitude ;) all 3 of them. :D

In any case if I scared anyone with the last entry, I hope this will alleviate any concerns left. I'm doing just fine... who woulda thunk it? And aside from the momentary spazziness of paying my bills on time,
Life is great!


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November 2013


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